oh snap... honesty's in the houseee :)

okay, im tired of talking about alopecia. lets discuss something else, something important. faith. specifically, my faith. i am a Christian, and i try my best to actually FOLLOW Jesus, im not just a believer. if your not a believer, then im not just gonna tell you that im gonna pray for you and to have fun rotting in hell. because if i were in your place, and a Christian told me to have fun "rotting in hell" then, i would say "alright, i will man, thanks!", just because im a "smart-al-ic". i call it honesty, but my parents seem to have different names for honesty, such as "smart-al-ic", rude, mean, devil horns, etc. but anyways, if i told you to have fun rotting in hell, then you can call me a hypocrite. i really hate hypocrisy, but i know i am one sometimes. so unbelievers, please don't go "rot in hell", we would love for you to join us in Heaven...when you come to your senses.

you see, my definition of an unbeliever is either an incredibly lazy person who doesn't want to bother with something that actually has meaning, and that you have to work at. or, someone who is extremely stupid. if you can come up with enough reasons to not believe in Jesus then... bless. your. heart.

whatt now?

i guess you could say im pretty stable now. high schools not so bad. i dont have to wear a wig, just draw on my eyebrows with a pencil because you know, i dont have hardly any. id take that anyday over wearing a wig everyday of my life. if your thinking i was some kind of person that needed to be in a mental institution, well...i really dont know what to tell you. i really wasnt and im not now, promise. im not that kind of crazy. alopecia really hurt me, but as much as i hate to admit it, it helped me. it built up my character. it made me a stronger person while it tore me down. i really believe this is God's plan for me, and he gave me alopecia for a reason. but i havent always thought this..

lets lighten the mood.

alright, so lets clarify something. all of my hair is back now. i have a full head of brown hair.  it started coming back sometime in middle school and this summer i started going with out my wig. it was synthetic, my wig. it was boring.. you couldn't do much with it except put a bobby pin in it. I'm not crazy, i have some sort of peace of mind and self esteem. alopecia sucked, and unless you've had it before and you've been through it, please don't tell me you understand. i hate it when people do that. i hate all of the pity crap too. the last thing i want you to do is feel sorry for me, for goodness sake it wasn't deathly, i just have a somewhat love of complaining, and i think that's probably true for alot of people. life is gonna be hard, get over it... expect it.

bear with me, this blog will get better, i just have to write all of this so you will understand what I'm coming from in all of the posts that I'm gonna write in the near future.

history classssss.

in third grade, i got 3 bald spots on the top of my head. nobody knew what it was, so we went to my regular pediatric doctor about it. they didn't know either so they sent me to a dermatologist. they did some tests, and told us it was alopecia areata. i didn't think much of it then, i was a third grader that absolutely loved everything in my life. i had no understanding of the emotional pain i was about to endure in a couple of years. i ended up getting steroid shots in those bald spots for a treatment to try to make my hair come back. i guess it worked it because it came back, and all was all. however, the summer before my fifth grade year of school, my hair started falling out again. by the end of the summer, i had lost about 85% of my hair. i was devastated. i had to wear a wig. a wig. i was 10 years old. 10 YEARS OLD.  i went back to school. so many questions. so many of "is that a wig?!". so many tears. only a couple of my close friends and teachers knew about it. the rest of the school was nice enough to make rude comments, they really werent afraid to say anything. i give them props for it, how about a round of applause?

alopecia anyone?

alopecia. ohhhh alopecia. you piss me off. like legit. you ruined my middle school years. so i wrote you this love letter.

dear alopecia,
you are a female dog. a big one too. i despise you. so, so much. i just wanted to tell you thanks, for everything you've done. you've taken away my self esteem, my peace of mind. you almost killed me. you almost caused me to take my own life. you caused me so much emotional pain its not even funny. you caused other people to say things to me that made me want to hurt them. badly. your like a relationship that ended horribly, and i cant even say your name.. but im not gonna pull a taylor swift song on you, sorry. i hope your happy.
love,
avictim.

my rant is over now. im a pretty chill person, i promise. its just... it.

the basics.

im 14, and currently a resident of Earth, Universe. this is not my permanent home, i will live with Jesus someday, hopefully it wont be too long.  i have a passion for volleyball so strong it could knock the living daylights out of you. i love it so much. im a setter, and if you dont know what that is then i would love to take the time to explain the game to you..not really, theres this thing called google, its quite fabulous. i attend this thing called 'school' from monday through friday, 8 am to 3:15 pm daily. it isnt my most favorite activity. i live with my parents, they're pretty cool i guess. just kidding, they are amazing. i love and appreciate them more than they know.  i have an older brother, and sister-in-law.  they're also amazing.  well, thats pretty much the basics of my life. oh yeah, i have alopecia. thats kind of important i guess.